Kia ora Remy here, this is another blog post about volcanoes this one is a bit different the other volcano slides are about facts of volcanoes but this one is about descriptions and writing.
Kia ora Remy, thank you for sharing your mahi (work) with us. I can see you have thought carefully about which words to use in your writing. I particularly like: "steaming hot lava", "darkening the sky" and "raging volcano" - all very scary! You can be proud of this work - ka pai Remy!
Well done, Remy. You have certainly improved those sentences. Great work on using adjectives, verbs and adverbs to add detail to your sentences. These help to create an image in the reader's mind. I wonder if you could use a different word instead of falling? Plummeting maybe?
Kia ora Remy, thank you for sharing your mahi (work) with us. I can see you have thought carefully about which words to use in your writing. I particularly like: "steaming hot lava", "darkening the sky" and "raging volcano" - all very scary! You can be proud of this work - ka pai Remy!
ReplyDeleteHello Miss Whysall, Remy here thank you for the feedback.
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Well done, Remy. You have certainly improved those sentences. Great work on using adjectives, verbs and adverbs to add detail to your sentences. These help to create an image in the reader's mind. I wonder if you could use a different word instead of falling? Plummeting maybe?
ReplyDeleteHello Nicole, Remy here thank for the feedback I will fix that right now.
DeleteBye